Sex with my Uncle

This is an old post and I'm too lazy to edit it. You can read it for now, I'll have to put some decency the next time you check on it *grin

THIS IS NOT A TRUE STORY

I had a sex with my aunt's husband (uncle ko na rin ata un) when i was 17

It happened in the province, one night nag-iinuman kami ng cuz ko sa treehouse malapit sa store ng mom nya, one-on-one lang un kaya mabilis ang ikot ng tagay.. so madali din kami nalasing.

He was a policeman, he was so gorgeous, i had an eye for him. pero siyempre di pwede kasi asawa siya na tita ko and close kami ng anak nya. that time, panggabi ang sked nya.

pagbaba namin ng treehouse, nakasalubong namin siya.. kaso badtrip un cuz ko don, pati yata siya minamanyak kaya iniiwasan sya. nagpunta un cuz ko sa mga friends nyang nakatambay sa store, naiwan kaming nag-uusap.

"oist gabi na ah?" sita nya sakin.

"eh ano naman sayo? pahawak nga ng baril mo!" i said.

"baril ko?!" he grinned. "baka ibang baril ang gusto mo hawakan?"

i was insulted, kasi first time nya ginawa un. so pinuntahan ko un cuz ko.

after chatting, isa-isa umalis un friends nga cuz ko. un cuz ko naman, she joined one of her friends. so naiwan ulit ako dun. he saw me again, lumapit siya.

"asan na un mga kasama mo?" he asked.

"ayun, nilayasan na ako." iniwas ko un tingin ko sa kanya.

he murmured, "ang ganda mo talaga."

napalingon ako sa kanya, and then he kissed me. sandali lang un, but it made me so horny.

bumulong siya sakin, "sunod ka sakin."

tapos ewan ko ba kung anong pumasok sa utak ko. after 10 minutes sinundan ko siya. i saw him sitting sa bench sa harap ng isa sa mga bahay dun. madilim kasi don. it was past 2am

i sat beside him, i was so nervous and excited at the same time. and then, he kissed me again.

medyo nagkainitan na so hinatak nya ko sa restroom malapit don. he was playing with my breasts while finger-f#&king me. ako naman i hold his cock, di pa kasi ako sexpert non..

tapos he opened his fly, and asked me to suck it. so i went down on him and gave him a head.

hinatak nya ulit ako and kissed me. sobrang libog na libog na kami that time so hindi na nakatiis, pinatalikod nya ko and he f#&ked me. my.. ang sarap..! he f#&ked me for 10 minutes hanggang sa mag-cum siya. he kissed me again and then naghiwalay na kami.

that time, hinahanap na pala ako ng cuz ko at ng friend nya. they saw me came out of nowhere and asked me kung san ako nagpunta. sabi ko dyan lang. sabi nga cuz ko, hinihingal daw ako. sabi ko na lang, hinahanap ko kasi siya.

She knew what we did and it happened thrice!

Chronicles of a Nymphomaniac

I am a 20-something lady who can’t live without sex. But I don’t masturbate. How profound!

Words cannot describe how nymphomaniac I am until I get to talk to my best friend, Nadia who had experienced the same problem (rather the same kind of excitement towards sex). She told me that she was once molested by her cousins when she was 5. Her favorite cousin even tried to rape her when she was in 12 and she saw how her father ate her sister’s pussy when she was 15. She started touching herself when she saw how her sister moaned as she asked they’re father to put his crotch on her tight hole. She told me she was screaming, she couldn’t help but imagine her father’s cock on her sweet pussy.

Since then, she played with herself every night, even blackmailed her sister to buy her a vibrator, having sex on phones and broke her cherry at the age of 16.

Is this normal?

I looked at my pictures and remembered how cute I was when I was on my childhood days. My mom would always dress me with sexy summer dresses, with pigtails and all that. Everybody admired me; I am everybody’s apple in the eye.

I remember after school, I would always play with my friends until night time. We used to live in a small subdivision with row of houses, these houses looked just as same, but there are dark places which I now realize that’s not suitable for kids. And there was hide-and-seek, the game that made me hide my desire for the opposite sex, and seek for someone who can satisfy my urge.

One night, I was playing with my friends when I decided to hide in that dark place and a friend named Jay followed me. He was 15, I think. I leaned on the wall, hoping not to be caught and he was standing in front of me and held me like some kind of an old brother. Being the naive that I was, I even asked him “This place is so dark Don’t you think we should go now?” He whispered, “Don’t worry; I’ll take care of you.”

I overheard my friends that its time to start a new game but he wasn’t letting me out. And then I felt something out of the leg of his shorts, he was rubbing it on my flower. I was shocked but I managed to look at his face, and I could sense that he was staring at me all along. He did that on purpose! I got scared and ran away inside our house, I never told anyone but I knew it felt good. There was something in me that was unleashed but was scared to ask out. I was only 9 years old.

I was in 4th grade when I saw this tape in my dad’s cabinet. It was a long and boring day and nobody’s home so I played it, thinking it might help me get some sleep. And there, a sex video of my mom and dad – having 69, fucking each other and ended with my mom eating his load. I never thought Dad’s tool could be that BIG. And so I went to the bathroom and started touching myself. It was my first masturbation, but I knew I would never enjoy it for I easily get tired. And so I put on the hose, turned the water on and aimed my clit. I never thought this would feel good so I kept going until I could no longer hold my breath. My body was shaking and then I released the first cum that made a woman out of me.

I was in first year high school when I my mom asked me to run an errand for her. While on my way, a car stopped by and asked me some directions. Hey, I am trying to be helpful here so I didn’t mind when he asked me to show him the directions and offered me a ride. I didn’t hesitate since I thought he was nice. While on our way, (I forgot the exact details) but he said he was a doctor and offered to give me a free check-up IN THE CAR. Since I was new to this, I let him recline my seat and started massaging me down there. I knew it felt good until he finally decided to stop over and see if he could fuck me. I was completely numb that time. I didn’t know this would have so much effect on me.

To be continued…

Love you like I did..

"Love You Like I Did"

Tell me who's gonna look at you
And love you for the person you are
Tell me who's gonna understand
That sometimes you can take things too far
Tell me who's gonna be there when
Times are good and when they are bad
Tell me who's gonna love you girl
The way i loved you

Tell me who's gonna be right there
To wipe your tears whenever you cry
Tell me who's gonna talk it out
To make sure everything is alright
Tell me who's gonna call you on the telephone
When you're all alone
Tell me who's gonna love you girl

Ain't nobody gonna do the things i did
Ain't nobody gonna kiss the way i kiss
Ain't nobody gonna spend the way i spend
Ain't nobody gonna love you like i did
Ain't nobody gonna be the fool for you
Ain't nobody gonna open the doors for you
Ain't nobody going through what i went through
Ain't nobody gonna love you
Love you like i did...

Anytime you needed a friend
Girl i was right there for you
Anytime you needed love
You could call on me for that too
There is nothing, nothing that i wouldn't do for you
Tell me who's gonna love you girl
The way i loved you

Ain't nobody gonna do the things i did
Ain't nobody gonna kiss the way i kiss
Ain't nobody gonna spend the way i spend
Ain't nobody gonna love you like i did
Ain't nobody gonna be the fool for you
Ain't nobody gonna open the doors for you
Ain't nobody going through what i went through
Ain't nobody gonna love you
Love you like i did...

Everything you always wanted
Girl you know i gave it to you
Never had to worry cuz you knew
I would take care of you
And you may find, another man
But cant nobody love you
The way that i loved you

How could you do it?
Baby, how could you (you did me wrong)
Treat me the way you did (you broke my heart)
And how could you leave me?
When you know i did (leave me by myself)
I did everything for you (girl, i did everything for you)
And you'll never find another man to love you the way that i did
Girl nobody... nobody...
Will love you just like me...

Ain't nobody gonna do the things i did
Ain't nobody gonna kiss the way i kiss
Ain't nobody gonna spend the way i spend
Ain't nobody gonna love you like i did
Ain't nobody gonna be the fool for you
Ain't nobody gonna open the doors for you
Ain't nobody going through what i went through
Ain't nobody gonna love you
Love you like i did...

He wasn't mine

She met him about a month ago. He was the hmm... so-called boyfriend of a friend. He's got violet hair; his eyes were green although she wanted them black. He was wearing a green shirt and a fatigue shorts although he can be naked with a violet wristband on his right arm, flaunting the perfect tattoo on his back. He was a graceful dancer, he was not-so-smart, but he was funny, he was a martyr, and he was mad about her.

Things have changed when their so-called relationship went into the rocks. Being the concerned friend that she was, she tried to help him patch things up with her since the girl was a paranoid, and a meanie at times --- she was insecure, she was frantically jealous about everything, when the fact that she was in another relationship, this girl was driving him nuts AND HE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT IT. The poor boy, which was naive and confused, made her his most trusted adviser -- he kept the advices she gave him into that skinny brain that she never thought he could realize. He would always talk to her about his problems and eventually she became fond of him, she made sure that he was taken care of. She was so into him that she told him to go for someone else. And like it was planned, he started moving on.

Days passed by, there was an infinite space between the two of them -- they became inseparable, the very best of friends. But the meanie, who was so bitter (and still bitter) that time, was so jealous that she tried to tear them apart. But she finally came to realize why she can’t just leave him.

She didn’t notice she was falling for him.

She wanted him for herself.

And so she was blinded with the idea of having her as his better half to take care of him. She didn’t notice what came to her but she was so crazy about him that she told him the things he didn’t need to make him fall out for that person. She thought she was bad, yes – but she was so in love with this guy.

And if she could turn back the time; she’d hope this never happen again.

One day he asked her, “What if I tell you I love you, what are you gonna do?”

And if she could take back those words, she swore she’ll never say it again.

“Then, I’m gonna love you more.”

There was no formal agreement – it just happened! They were in love. They were perfect together. Every other day way more precious than the days that has passed. It was like a summer romance – you’ll never know what would happen when it ends.

Then the day that she never dreamed of came.

One night, they were chatting when he asked, “What if I’m still in love with my ex, what you would do?”

“I’ll be fine, as long as we’re together.”

“What if I asked for my freedom? What if I wanna break up with you, what’d you do?”

“Then I’ll do it myself, I’m leaving you.”

He sighed, “OK.” Then he left.

She was surprised. She followed him to tell him that she was just joking.

“I accepted it. It’s over.”

She was crying, “Why? Why are you leaving me? Is there something wrong?”

“Nah its me,” He paused, “Yes, I’m still in love with her.”

And she broke down.

She watched him as he left without turning his back. She was confused, she couldn’t utter a word. Why, she thought. Then she ran into her room and took her phone, and called him up. “I was happy being you’re best friend. Why’d you have to do this?”

“I’m sorry; I didn’t expect this to happen.” Then he hung up.

She was looking for answers but can’t find any. She cried the whole night thinking of the days they spent together, the love they shared, the memories they had. And they were thrown out of the window. She was thrown out of his life.

She felt so stupid for letting herself fall for his kind of guy. It was so bad but what else she could do? She was hopelessly in love and she was helpless because deep into the broken pieces of her heart she knew he’ll never be back feel the same. The pain was unbearable. So painful that she could feel nothing anymore.

Well, almost.

She is numb because she was blinded by her love for him. And it made her stupid, and stupid is the last thing in the world she wanted to be.

Yet she still loves him.

It was hopeless. Totally, heartbreakingly hopeless.

She’d likely call him ‘Mine’, but he was never hers all along.

Word press

I'm starting to envy my pussywagon friend and another friend whom considered himself a geek when I saw how this thingy goes. I've no idea how to change the f%&king HTML code of my blog and when I signed up to this website, I was like, "Woah, this is cool." So I've been thinking, maybe I can change my blog site again. Geez, all I need to do is to repost them. I'm damn sure, everybody wants it to be as sexy as that.

I love the templates. They were pretty amazing.

I'm just too lazy to do it now. Let's just wait and see.

Sabay ganun. *evil laugh

Bedroom

I'm bummed.

I'm so bummed that I can't think of the right words to say. For the past weeks, it was me and my lazy way of living. And now, it was a sweet and painful revenge. Like it would shred even the tiniest part of my body. I've never been this restless. I wasn't thinking lately. I was completely numb.

And now I'm lying down again.

When the first time I stepped into this room, in this piece of heaven where I easily succumb every long and tiring day, where I rant my angst, where I think of all the solemn moments I had, where I became me... I was like "Oh, this is it." This is the life that I wanted.

I've had everything in the palm of my hand -- I was responsible, I was dedicated, I was loved, I was on the top of the world. My nights won't end without at least 3 to 4 bottles of SML (I considered myself an alchoholic), smoking Marlboro like a fiend, hanging out at Starbucks, shopping at Divisoria and where my passion for spending led me to, bitching everywhere, and fucking my brains out. Money - I spent them like I am the mistress of Donald Trump. I was a GODDESS. I was all out that I'd likely forget about the four corners of my palace.

Until the bittersweet downfall. It was hard, it was so bad that I couldn't get up.

Now I dunno where to start.

My housemates started mocking me. I've lost some friends and never won them back. My bills are killing me and I've no one to turn to. I spoke to God, and sure he was busier than I thought. And then I went back here --- it was dirty, yeah but it was still the home sweet home that embraced me especially now that I'm alone. The sheets of my bed weren't replaced for weeks but the memories of the sexes I had and the nights where I let go of those tears were there. They're giving me something to ponder on as I laid back there --- giving me the peace of mind that I've been longing to, and the silence I badly need.

Count on me through thick and thin
A friendship that will never end
When you are weak
I will be strong
Helping you to carry on
Call on me, I will be there
Don't be afraid
Please believe me when I say
Count on...

As this music filled up my head, let me shut my eyes for a while. This bedroom has made me found the piece of heaven I've been missing all my life.

10 Turnoffs That Make Good Guys Wave Goodbye

I'm a bad girl seeking for a good guy, is there something about me that made them go away?? Well I think not, maybe I'm just too pretty, they couldn't handle too much pressure. *lol

Thinking you shooed them like a bug? Well, here's something for you to ponder on. *wink *wink

10 Turnoffs That Make Good Guys Wave Goodbye

You're sitting across from a great guy you met on Yahoo! Personals. You can't remember the last time a first date went so well. You're attracted to the guy. He has all the qualities you're looking for in a mate. He would even get your mom's approval.

The date ends and you actually have butterflies. Not only does this guy have second and third date potential, but you can smell a relationship. Unfortunately, a week passes and the cold reality sinks in that this great guy has no intention of ever seeing you again.

Where did you go wrong?

How could you have misunderstood what you thought was great chemistry? Maybe it's time you learned the top 10 turnoffs that make good guys wave goodbye. If any of these fictional female daters sound like you, it's time for a first-date makeover.

1. Misleading Maggie: Her profile says no kids, athletic and raking in the big bucks. The first date reveals two young kids, an extended waistline and unemployment checks.
“Nothing says trust issues for a guy more than lies from the get-go"

2. Insecure Ilene: She reads into every comment a guy makes. She wants to know right away if date #2 can be tomorrow. She asks you to call the minute you get home. This clingy nature screams of a potential needy girlfriend lacking independence.

3. Third-Degree Donna: The cross-examination begins before the menus arrive. The questions are coming fast and furious, and the guy begins to feel like the defendant on the stand in a criminal trial. If a guy feels stuck under the interrogation lights, he'll run for the hills.

4. Tardy Tina: She arrives late, she no-shows, she changes plans last-minute, she loses his number, she flat-out just doesn't respect a guy's time. Fashionably late is one thing; keeping a guy waiting 30 minutes or no-showing is unacceptable.

5. High-Maintenance Hilda: "Thanks for taking me to this nice restaurant, but couldn't you get a table by the window?" “The feeling that nothing is ever good enough makes a guy quit trying to impress”
A simple thank you for a nice dinner is a better way to go.

6. Chatterbox Charlene: The conversation doesn't have to be 50 percent talking and 50 percent listening, but if she does all the talking it feels more like a seminar than a date. Charlene's opposite cousin, Pulling Teeth Patricia, is equally unsettling, making the guy do all the work.

7. Still-Hurting Sally: First dates are notorious for spilling the beans on what went wrong with prior relationships. Sharing an amusing anecdote is good; making it clear you're not over your ex-boyfriend is a definite no-no.

8. Game Player Gina: "Maybe I'll kiss you goodnight, maybe I won't."
“Good guys like to know where they stand” They leave the game-playing for the sports field. There's nothing wrong with flirting, but just know when it crosses over into deception and confusion.

9. Conceited Colleen: "Any guy would be lucky to have me." Guess what, the great guy across the table is also a real catch. Stop assuming every guy doesn't deserve you, and then you'll be on your way to actually landing a good one.

10. Matrimony Maureen: He dips his egg roll in duck sauce when all of a sudden she spills the beans on what they should name their kids. Intense relationships can be exciting for a good guy, but walking down the aisle before you walk each other home for the first time is a turn-off.

Is it hot or is it me?

It happened a couple of months back, I always like to kiss girls since I was in high school but I'm not sure if I'm a BI since I've never tried it with another girl though I fancy it some times. Carmela (the girl on the picture) would always call me sexy eyes. I dunno if she lusts me or what. Anyway, I always get myself into a kinky trouble when I'm drunk. I usually get naughty to attract people. I dance, I get to clung myself and all that. One time I was dancing with my friends when we saw her. Another friend approached her and asked her if she could dance with us. As we were grinding in the dance floor, our boobies accidentally bumped. Our eyes met, staring at each other with amusement when our friends teased us. She started to grind herself closer to me as I held her waist. I pulled her even closer and then I kissed her! I'm not sure if she likes it (and I found out recently that she did like it because she said she miss my lips haha) but she kissed back, our tongues were playing with one another. Our friends were already cheering for us so we parted and continued dancing. *lol

One night, I was in another party, I was bored and horny when I saw this lady. She was freakin' HOT! Tall, blond, sexy and wild! I can't help but stare at her boobs, they were as big or even bigger than mine. She was wearing a sexy top, with a deep neckline and a tight skirt. But what attracted me most is her hazel eyes --- they were dark, so alive and naughty. Her buns are so tight, so firm as if she's grinding on top of me. She danced like there's no tomorrow. She was stunningly gorgeous.

As I took the last sip of my margarita, our eyes met and she smiled. I thought I felt something hot just below my belly, my face fired up, but I locked my eyes on her. I kept on staring at her, as she danced with another guy. But in my surprise, she never darted her eyes away from me. I felt something hot within me -- is it hot or is it me?

I heard her friend called her for a shot of tequila. I noticed that she was still looking at me, her eyes were inviting as she gave her lips a soft bite. As I was staring on their group, I heard her called another friend and asked if she could put some salt on her breasts. Her friend obediently did what she asked and I chuckled when she held her breasts uptight and started licking the salt, without taking her eyes off me. Then, she took the shot of tequila --- she was more inviting than ever as she wiped the tequila drops from her chin with her finger and finally sucked it.
She cleaned it up with her tongue, and she started dancing again. She was amazing.

I felt the urge to follow her when she went to the washroom. It was occupied that time so she waited there and started retouching. She was fixing her hair when the lady came out from the washroom. I stood next to her when she gazed on me. She looked on me across the mirror and she gave me a smile.

"Are you gonna use the washroom?" she asked.

"Yeah, but you can go first," I said.

"Nah, it's OK. You can use it now."

I combed my hair with my fingers. "Why don't you just join me?"

"Sure."

And we went inside.

It was a dark, toilet with a huge mirror in front of it. I turned around because I thought she might feel awkward but I caught her staring at me as she slowly pull her undies down. She's wearing a white thong.

I heard her peeing but I tried not to pay attention. I'm thinking of something to say to make her stay. I wanted to stay with her for sometime, I wanted to do something with her. She was f#&king hot, I could shag her right away.

She stood up and parted her legs to wipe her clit. And when she pulled her thong up, I caught a glimpse of her p#&sy. I noticed that hers was fully shaved. She stared at me again so I pretended as if I checking my make-up.

She grinned.

It was my turn to use the toilet. I pulled down my undies, and sat down comfortably. I stared at her ass then checked her out. I gasped when I thought I saw her fondling her breasts, sticking her tongue out to contour every corner of her lips. She lifted her skirt and I thought I saw a tissue on her right butt cheek.

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"You have a tissue in your ass."

"Really? Where?" She turned around to check it herself. "I can't see it, can you remove it?"

Her voice was so alluring.

I wiped my p#&sy with a tissue, pulled my panties up and sat down. "Come closer."

She lifted her skirt that I could see her tattoo on her belly. Then she turned around, she leaned her arms in the mirror as she bent down to have me checked her ass but it happened to be a bit closer, so close that I could smell the sweet scent of it. It was more inviting than ever. And without any hesitation, I licked it.

I grabbed her legs so she can't move. She tried to struggle but slowly gave up as I tried to slip my tongue inside her p#&sy. I slid her undies to the side so I can have a better view of it. I begun to lick her p#&sy again and started fondling her right breast. She gave a soft moan and started fondling her other breast too. I kept on slipping my tongue inside her as I massaged her clit. She wasn't complaining anymore.

She was moaning even louder, she was asking for more.

I stood up and kissed her. And she kissed back. She tried to play with my clit but I held her wrist, "I'll take care of it." And kissed her eyelids.

She leaned to the mirror, facing me. She lifted her leg so I could see her masturbating, her other hand caressing her breast. She was almost naked now. I started fondling my breasts and massaging my clit but I'm in the urge of satisfying her. I placed her hand to her breast as I knelt down on her and started licking her again. This time, I inserted a finger inside her p#&sy, checked her if she got hurt. She seemed to like it so I inserted two fingers. Up, down... she was really wet. She tried to lick her nipple in between of those moans. She craved for more. She wanted it so bad.

We heard a few knocks from the door. It was the club manager asking what's taking us so long. She was in a hurry to fix herself up, so it was pretty obvious that she f#&ked in there. So I combed her hair with my fingers and placed it to her lips. She suckled them as I kissed her nape, "You were great darling..."

She turned around to face me and gave me a soft kiss on the lips, I took a card from my wallet and slid it in between her breasts. "Call me up when you ain't busy."

I'm still f#&king her til now. And she's f#&king hot!

You're not in Love

I was browsing through imeem and saw this song. It hit Manila like a storm when I was still a teeny-boop swooning over those yucky boy bands which is unacceptable nowadays. Anyway, here's something for you to listen to. *wink

Sun is shining, the rain comes in
And I don't know what to do, Oh...
I don't know where I'm going or where I've been cos my mind is hooked on you.
Words escape me and tears come down and day slowly turns to night
And I think of all we could have been,
I gave up the fight.
And you don't (You don't),
Understand (Understand),
Girl you make me all I am,
But I'm starting to see, just how hard it can be, on my own
And I'm sorry baby won't you come home?
You said that we'd been defeated,
But oh I am so addicted,
Your love is all I need to get by.
You told me that you and I would always be true,
But you lied
And you're not in love and I don't know why.
No, I don't know why.
The days around me and years roll on
And I still don't think it's right (Don't think it's right)
And I have so much love to give,
But I gave up the fight.
Now you don't (You don't),
Understand (Understand),
Girl you made me all I am,
Now I started to see, just how hard it could be, on my own
And I'm sorry baby won't you come home?
You said that we'd been defeated,
But oh I am so addicted,
Your love is all I need to get by.
You told me that you and I would always be true,
But you lied
And you're not in love and I don't know why.
No I can't make it alone (I don't know why)
And I can't be here without you in my life
And so I ask you, why, you still deny?
And you don't,
Understand,
Girl you made me all I am
But I'm starting to see, just how hard it can be, on my own
And I'm sorry baby won't you come home?
You said that we'd been defeated,
But oh I am so addicted,
Your love is all I need to get by.
You told me that you and I would always be true,
But you lied
And you're not in love and I don't know why.
No, I don't know why,
Just tell me why,
Please tell me why.

Why I lust you...

This is not the first time I fell in lust with someone I met from the screen of my television. It wasn't the first time I imagined these people to sleep with me every night. And it wasn't the first time I've had thoughts of these guys touching me, caressing every inch of me as I lay down to my bed -- it wasn't the first time I lived in my fantasy world.

I was a huge fan of Ariel Rivera.
I fell in love with Bret Hart.
I let Johnny Depp shag me in a party.
I was crazy for A1.
I had a great time with Nick Carter.
I was stunned by The Rock's charms.
I adored Tom Cruise.
I worshiped Brad Pitt,
and now... I AM head over heels in lust with you



If this would me some kind of a lunatic, the hell with it. I am in love with that devilish smile that made you look like an angel. I'm lost for those eyes, those captivating, expressive eyes that I would never ask you to dart them away. Your lean, masculine arms that I wouldn't wish you to let go whenever you hold me next to your heart. Those lips -- so sweet, so tempting... oh how I love them!

I guess it doesn't really matter anymore if I don't get to watch every appearances you've made, or if I don't get to read any article and every wonderful thing they say about you. Heck, I won't even bother to know what's new with you. But you know I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you. I'm here to laugh and cry with you... and I want you to know that I think about you all the time and I want you to know that I desire you.

You're a God.
You're every woman's fantasy.
You're a food for unfortunate souls.

Whenever I think of you, I end up thinking of things I want to DO with you. Like Akon said: I wanna f#&k you.

Yes, that's what I wanna do.

If only I could f#&k you now...

I've always imagine you holding me like a baby as you thrust yourself deeply into mine. I'll let you screw me wherever you want to. I would be comfortable with my clothes off just to let you f#&k me as long as you want to.

Because I lust you.
I lust every inch of you.
I lust your flaws.
I lust everything about you.

I use this picture as my wallpaper. Since then, You get to enthrall me with your charms. I get to place my finger to contour every angle of your face.I get to look you in the eye. I get to kiss you every day and night.

I won't apologize if I'm trying to live a perfect life with you in my surreal world. I only know how to appreciate beauty but I don't admire them. I rarely do. You are truly glamorous and I'm sorry if this one turns out to be somehow dreadful, fans don't get to write some nasty stories about their idols, do they? *wink

But you know what? If you only knew how maniac I am, I think you're gonna love me too. *lol

xoxoxo

Beauty, Beauteous, Beautiful

I have Beauty.

I am a beauteous woman.

I'm simply Beautiful.

Beauty is not a superficial form
Each has their own in essential nature
And in the actions they perform
Until the dissolution of their life
To leave beauty’s impressions in our hearts
Yesterdays beauty never leaves or departs.

Beauty is all around
Each and every place it may be found
As you look with open eyes
Upon the forms that nature makes
Then man seeks to imitate
Yearning to match that beauty all around.

Beauty if you cannot find
Beauty must be in mind
Beauty is in purity
Beauty of simplicity
Beauty runs right through and through
Beauty in me, and them, and you.

Beauty, beauteous, beautiful
Beauty in heaven
Beauty in fire
Beauty in earth
And finally beauty in a simple verse.

I'm lovin' it!

I got this text messages from a pervert like me, never thought he could be serious at times. *lol

Once...

I loved.
I believed.
I trusted.
I failed.
I cried.
I moved on.

Then I loved again.

I invested.
I exerted.
I hoped.
I fought.

But eventually...

I became weak.
I got tired.
I let go.

Love doesn't always succeed but it always teach us to let go if we can no longer hold on.

True enough, not everyone has a happy ending... but there is always a new beginning.


I'm a no-no fan of forwarded quotes (although I spam on their phones sometimes *wink) But eventually, I stopped and had a thought about it. Fairy tales do have happy endings. How come it never existed in the real cosmos? Or worse, in my absurd world.

Here's another quote:

I was told not to hurt the heart of whom I love so much... But when I was so busy taking care of the heart, I never noticed my own was slowly dying.

In my years of existence, I've never had a real boyfriend. But I've always had someone whom I can f#&k with whenever I need to pass out (And I'm telling you -- they really stay *lol). But eventually, I got tired, I think I'm getting old. And I realized, it isn't enough to make myself happy. To have contentment. To be pampered. To enjoy life at it's best.

Until I met him - the guy whom I lust so much.

We kissed.
We f#&ked.
We're happy
Until I fell in love
I'm in love.
He wasn't.
I'm bummed.
He's busy.
I was honest.
He's foolish.
I let go.
He didn't mind.

And I'm screwed!

Can't I just f#&k around? Sex always has a happy ending anyway.

Even bad sex feels good...

I'm kinda tired of waiting for Mr. not-so-Right. I'm tired of waiting for something wonderful to step into my cold, cruel world. I'm tired of waiting for someone who will knock me off my feet. I am tired of waiting for him to appreciate every inches of me. And most of all, I'm tired of making myself believe that he will love me and he will love me despite of what I am.

I'm maybe too young to think so much about it, but hey --- I guess I deserve some loving!

Sigh.

Anyway, I'm not closing my door for someone who can take me despite of my ridiculous way of thinking towards love and sex. This is what I am, and if my being lustful and uninhibited makes people think I'm freakin' indecent? So be it. I am not sorry for the way I embrace my sexuality and how I shamelessly flaunt it. I love to love and be loved but I'm more in love with sex and the benefits it gives me. Why don't you start loving it? Life has never been this GOOD without it. *wink

Love at first f#&k..

What a magical moment it is.

In my dream of our first time, I picture that you arrive before me, preparing the room in anticipation for the much-awaited first union of our souls. You place cherry & vanilla candles throughout the room, creating a path of halos to light my way to you. A fire burns strongly in the stone fireplace, the smell of cedar filling the air. you put in a CD of love music. The soft sultry sounds of a sax fill your head, the music dancing with your soul. You draw a bath to relax your nerves before I arrive. As you undress the steam in the room caresses your body, a sheen of sweat beads on your forehead. You pull your hair up and climb into the sunken tub. The white fluffy bubbles envelopes you and the fragrance of Rafinee fills the air. You begin to unwind from the days work. You lay back, your eyes closed, letting the music transport you to another place. Time passes and with it the day's troubles fall like aged leaves on a tree. I am startled when I opened the door. You were lying there, so wonderful. So naive.

"Are you ever coming out, or do you plan to spend the whole night in the tub?" I whispered jokingly. Your laughter filled the room, "Why not?" Then your voice turns serious. "Unless you don't want me to sleep beside you."

"Hahaha, I thought you want to sleep there."

"Why, are you scared?"

I am unsure how to answer. We have never made love, not in all the time that we have known each other. Yes, I suppose I am a little scared but I am excited, too. I trust you with everything that I have. Since I have met you I have become so much stronger in my self-esteem. I no longer look into the mirror and see an ugly lady who has been cast aside to many times to count. I now see a very strong woman who accepts her
looks and the toll that life has taken on her with pride and a sense of accomplishment for having survived. You have made everything all right. In your
arms I will be safe for whatever lay ahead.

The sound of the door opening fills you with anticipation. I enter, clothed only in my pants, and come over to the side of the tub, sitting on a wide cushioned stool. Your fears were gone as you gaze at me. I pick up a washcloth from a small shelf over the rub, filling it with soapy water, and begin to run it from your toes up to your thighs. A sigh of contentment escapes from your lips.

"I am too happy to be scared." I whispered.

As I begin to run the washcloth over your shoulders and down your chest, I dip the cloth back into the water, and then ease it over each soapy breast, until your nipples become taunt. you find myself sinking lower into the tub and widening the space between your legs as the washcloth makes its way over the tops of your
thighs down inside to the place between them. Caressing, kneading, i rub the cloth over your mound, then more intensely over your down part. Increasing the weight of my hand on the cloth, i do not rush, but just continue to exert an even pressure, over and over, until you feel you will explode. The pressure is too much and your legs tighten around my hand as you bring you to a blinding climax.

After i feel your release, i stand and lift a large white towel next to me. your body is still shuddering as i lift you out of the tub and wrap you in the towel. i lead you to the bedroom, drying you in my arms as i walk. you feel like a baby, like a young, powerless child all at the same time as i place me gently on the king-sized bed. you watch as i remove your pants, and see that i already aroused as i lay down on top of you, kissing your neck, your lips in my urgency.

you feel excited all over again, not at all fearful when you entreat me to come inside you. When i do, lifting myself up slightly as i guide myself on top of you, you fell a moment of tightening, quickly followed by a rising joy unlike any sensation you have ever known. i move slowly, expertly leading you towards
ecstasy with my slow thrusts. As i feel you begin to peak, i jam myself up inside you, filling your body completely, making you cry out.

As you let go, you feel every demon of your past go too. you finally believe yourself to be the beautiful man, which i keep telling you that you am, healthy, vibrant, and strong... and happy, so very happy.

The hours which follow are just as memorable for me as they are for you. It was so exciting. The time i have spent teaching you to make love to me, as i would like
is electrifying. Despite my sexual expertise, this remains the purest pleasure as we luxuriate in exploring each other's wants, needs, and desires, creating a reality from the dreams which we have both had in the past. And I have shown just how passionate I can be, more passionate than you would have guessed. All my timidness has been thrown to the wind. You are amazed at how turned on you are by how thoroughly I adore you and want to please you as well as being pleased.

Hours later we lay wrapped in each other's arms, exhausted and content, a feeling of completeness and oneness surrounding us. The moonlight streams in through the window, lace curtains fashioning the light into golden stripes across the foot of the bed. Your hand brushes mine, your other stroking the side of my face. As your mouth comes down over mine, I cannot protect myself from the feelings, which you provoke in
me. Your lips are soft at first, gently exploring my mouth yet again. I find myself all too willing, my arms winding around your neck, my breasts arching to your chest. Over and over you amaze me, as you awaken feelings, which I thought I could not feel ever again. You close your eyes as i mouth engulfs your mouth, my tongue moves along your throat, your wide chest, your stomach, evoking sensations of utter bliss. When i
move my body over you and let you come in, as I cling myself to you. Your hands roam over my shoulders, my belly, and my arms.

How do you do this to me? How do you make all these wonderful feelings come alive in my body? How do you comfort my soul so? We fit together like two pieces of a puzzle in all that we do. We are matched in drive and passion for what we want out of life. We believe in the same things.

WE believe in love at first f#&k.

Torn Between Two Agents..

This is a REPOST AND NOT A TRUE STORY. I want this story to have more character and clarity as well. So it's kinda detailed. Never mind the grammar, (I mean the pasosyal type!) ^_^

-----------------------

PART 1:

I've been busy for a while, making my first million, hanging out with friends.. getting laid and searching for Mr. not-so-right. Actually I found them.

Why them?

I met THEM because of my friend. She's a TM in a Call Center and she's a very nice girl, she's a tropa even to her agents. THEY were her agents..

The first one, call him Mr. X. Well he's cute... he's single... he said I'm very pretty... and I like him the first time i saw him...

The second one, he's Mr. Z. Nice ass.. *wink good-looking... but unfortunately, he's already married. *aww

My conflict begun when they had a team building in Laguna. My friend invited me out. I told her I bummed out but she insisted and since i was bored... I decided to join them...

They fetched me in the condo and hopped in to Mr. X's car. Damn, there he goes again. Cute as before. I already saw him in my friend's house. We had some drinks there and I think he f#&ked me there when I was awfully drunk. Punyeta!, I was raped.. pwede naman magpaalam... papayag din naman ako.. *lol

Half-kidding ^_^

Then we fetched Mr. Z in a mall somewhere in Bicutan. By that time, I was under Mr. X's spell so I don't give a damn about him. Anyway, we stopped over somewhere in Alabang. We had two cars then, so they decided to transfer in the van because he said it was overloaded. I stayed in the car, with these gorgeous guys. I still have no lust for Mr. Z.

We were all f#&ked up when a truck hit the van, we have to go to the police station for some shitty things, the truck driver was really an a#&hole. We thought we would just go home after the incident... I slightly lost my concentration as I somehow pictured something nice that would happen 'again' between me and Mr. X. Though he was a bit snob that time, probably because he doesn't want his teammates to see how maniac he was.. aww

We arrived in Laguna around 10pm. It was a nice, private resort. We have our own kitchen, pool, 3 rooms, 3 washrooms, may karaoke etc. So we started preparing our dinner, while others started drinking while singing.. others started diving in to the cool water.. As I helped my friends, Mr. X suddenly approached me and offered a glass of beer.

I whispered, "Baka lasingin mo na naman ako ha?" He chuckled, "Dahan dahan lang kasi..."

Nagpalit na kami ng panligo, I as wearing a black see-through top and then shorts... (Di naman ako sexy kasi di ba? *aww) Ligo, ahon, kain, inom, ligo..

Eventually, Mr. X started approaching me, I dunno what the heck is wrong with him. But he always checked on me, asked me if I'm OK. I was kilig though he can be quite annoying, and then in the pool..

I was swimming then, when someone grabbed me from behind. It was him, He moved in front of me and I immediately clung my legs to his. Then, he brought me to the corner, And then I found myself cuddling with him in the pool.. Shit, he's more cute pala when wet, and then he started kissing me.. asking me if i missed him.. ako naman, I seductively answered his questions so hindi yata nakapagpigil. *lol So he started fondling my breasts.. I gasped and told him that somebody might see us, pero makapal yata talaga mukha nito.. I felt a hand rubbing my p#&sy.. I was shocked.. sabi ko, wag dun... but he whispered as he gently bit my ear, "It's alright"

I got carried away.

And then we did it in the POOL.. goodness.. one of the kinkiest sex i ever had...

Pero saglit lang un.. siyempre maraming tao.. tapos, umahon na kami.. nagpunta sa may karaoke, and then he whispered "pag-akyat ko, sunod ka." I have no intentions to do what he asked but I remembered my phones, so I went upstairs. Nauna pa pala ako sa kanya. kaso palabas na ako ng room ng makasalubong ko siya. He grabbed me to bed tapos ayon.. I was so scared baka makita nga kami. I tried to push him but he was so strong, to think i was taller than he was pero parang rapist kung makahawak.. need i say more?

Tapos after nun bumaba na kami, we had dinner and then bigla ako napatingin kay Mr. Z. Kanina pa ito eh.. tingin ng tingin, tapos pag napatingin ako sa kanya biglang magmmake-face. yung mukhang ewan.. But he caught my attention, he can really make me laugh by just looking at him. he was good-looking din naman..

Si Tm friend, may crush dun sa isang agent nya.. so we're making plans how to lure them into the square.. kaso mailap talaga si agent until we decided to play 'spin the bottle'. walang truth, puro consequence.. which is very kinky kasi laging utos, "oh kiss mo si ganito.. kiss mo si ganyan.."

F#&k! I even kissed my girl friend!

Habang dun kami naglalaro sa pool, naglalandian kami ni Mr. X. Pero totoo pala un "Pag wala ang pusa, naglalaro ang daga." So pag wala si Mr. X, kasi inuutusan ni TM friend na kausapin si agent, lumalandi si Mr. Z.

I got confused. What the hell am I doing?!

Tapos umakyat na kami sa room. Bangag na si Mr. X kasi 24hrs nang gising tapos uminom pa ng alak, maaga pa aalis kasi he have to go back to manila before 10am eh 3am na that time. naglalaro pa din kami --- ako, si TM friend, si Mr.Z, saka un isang naming half-conservative girl friend and un isa pang agent.

We were pairing up our girl friend and the agent, tapos ako naman nakasandal kay Mr. Z.. When I suddenly felt this bulgd. WHAT THE?? He started brushing my hair.. he embraced me.. and when he turned off the light, kasi half-conservative daw si girlfriend, he kissed my knee.. and then I knew it, he lusted me.

PART TWO:

I'm listening to Because I'm a girl by kiss right now. Somehow i am enlightened to update my blog again, to write the part two of my complicated sex story. Leche naman kasi, bakit kasi masarap ang sex?! what a fucking nympho am i?!

So let's go back to the story..

So ayos na ang love team - the half-conservative girl friend of ours and the Cogie Domingo with a bad boy image agent. Eh si TM medyo frustrated coz the crushie slept in the other room, so mega inarte ang lola mo, she told us that she wanted to sleep in the kitchen (hello?! malamok kaya?!) so lumabas siya ng room. Ako naman, since I'm having problems with my back, I yelled, "Taena, kelangan ko ng masahista!" And so the great Mr. Z offered his service, "Massage kita." *aww So the lights were off. Sa isang bed, magkatabi half-conservative and the other agent, then dun sa isa ako saka si Mr. Z and sa last bed si Mr. X. He started massaging my back, of course with my shirts on. Pero habang minamassage nya ko he was brushing his tool on my behind. His hands were moving freely on my back, fingers almost touching my breasts.. OK lang, massage lang naman eh. but I felt his hotness and I wanted to be intimate with him kaso ang kulit ng love team... Since bumaba nga si TM, they decided to take her back to the room.

And so, naiwan kaming dalawa. With Mr. X sleeping soundly right next to us..

He hold my hand, then he kissed me on the cheek, his lips were seeking mine. And when we finally met, damn i could sense that he's burning for me... I faced him... and gave him a seductive look.. And then again, he kissed me - more passionately. God, I've been kissing all my life, but this one's different. He's driving me crazy... He made me submit myself freely, his kisses made me ask for more..

And then he went down to my breasts.. damn, it felt good. plus the thought of Mr. X sleeping right beside us made me hornier than ever. What if magising siya? What would he say? Magagalit ba siya? Sasali ba siya sa fun? *aww Kinky talaga! ^_^

He pulled my shorts and my undies down, then he removed his... he took my hand and put it to his tool while playing with mine, I almost cut my finger, I bit it, trying my best not tomoan but I couldn't help it! He even gave me this sexy moan, he made me crave for him more.

Should i elaborate the next part?! hmm.. i don't think so... *aww

Nice song I've got here.. damn, I'm missing him terribly...

Ayon so almost 6am na, magkatabi kami nakahiga.. magkayakap.. ang sarap ng feeling. I was tired and sleepy, but i can't shut my eyes... parang sirang plaka ang utak ko, paulit ulit ko naiisip un nangyari... so bumangon na lang ako.. gising naman un iba..

The whole day, di kami masyado nagpapansinan... ok lang naman para di obvious pero nung gabi na, at natulog na lang lahat-lahat di pa rin ako pinapansin.. aba, ayos ah?! ano yon, wala lang?! eh di ako nakapagpigil... since dun naman siya natulog magisa sa isang kama, i decided to sleep beside him..

Para kaming nagpapakiramdaman... pero hindi kami gumagawa ng moves para magkalapit.. hanggang sa hindi ko na makayanan un lamig ng air-con, nakishare ako ng kumot and then i hugged him from behind.. thanks to him, nabawasan un panlalamig na nararamdaman ko, I was freezing!

Hindi na rin naman kasi siya nakatiis kasi maya-maya humarap siya sakin, and embraced me.

nagising kaming magkayakap, wala kaming paki ano man sabihin nila. but it felt good... really really good. ayaw pa sana namin bumangon kaso check-out time namin ng 7am. andun un mga girl friends ko, pinalabas ko sila ng room. and we made love again for the second time

We were leaving that morning, yung van na lang gamit namin kasi umalis na si Mr. X kasama un crushie ni TM.

magkatabi kami sa van, parang medyo alangan kami mag-usap kaya i just rested my head on his shoulder and put my hand on his knee. Di ko naman iniexpect na hawakan nya un kamay ko but he just did, eh super kulit ng mga kasama namin, sumasabat din naman siya with hand gestures. But after that, hahawakan ulit nya ang kamay ko.. taena, ano ba ito?! i think i'm falling for him. Adik noh?! *lol

Kaya lang, sabi ko nga he's married na.. I even met his wife and son.

But I am happy..

Maybe I lust him..

And I still lust him sometimes.. ^_^

Love, Lust and Marriage..

I got this forwarded email from a friend, I'll make a few exceptions because I Lust You, hahaha! ^_^

Love - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
Lust - Wen your tongues meet across a crowded room.
Marriage - When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.

--------------

Love- When intercourse is called making love.
Lust - when intercourse is called screwing.
Marriage - When intercourse is a little town in Pennsylvania.

--------------

Love - When you argue over how many kids to have.
Lust - When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
Marriage - When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.

---------------

Love - When you share everything you own.
Lust - When you steal everything they own.
Marriage - When the bank owns everything.

---------------

Love - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
Lust - When the relationship is over if you don't climax.
Marriage - When....uh....what's a climax.

---------------

Love - When your heart flutters every time you see them.
Lust - When your groin twitches every time you see them.
Marriage - When your wallet empties out every time you see them.

---------------

Love - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
Lust - When all the songs on the radio determine how you do it.
Marriage - When you listen to talk radio.

---------------

Love - When breaking up is something you try not to thing about.
Lust - When staying together is something you try not to think about.
Marriage - When just getting through the day is your only thought.

--------------

Love - When you're only interested in doing things with your partner.
Lust - When you're only interested in doing things to your partner.
Marriage - When your only interested in the sports channel.

--------------

Love - When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and talk.
Lust- When a rainy day means more time inside and have sex.
Marriage - When a rainy day means it's time to clean the basement.

---------------

Love - You only leave the house for coffee and doughnuts.
Lust - You only leave the house for condoms and massage oil.
Marriage - You only leave the house when your allowed.

A Threesome Story

She called me up, said I have to see her right away. We had a meeting with this guy from a Call Center. He said he wants to have fun – the three of us.

I was kinda nervous, because this would be my first time. Yeah, I did it with two guys, but now I’m somehow awkward because I couldn’t believe that we’re going to make it at this point – the two of us sharing with the same guy. And I’ve never imagined having a threesome with a girl --- I prefer to do it with two guys.

It was also her first, and I can see that she was nervous, too. But since it was purely business, we tried to relax. Breathe… We need some fresh air, man.

We went to his hotel. We even saw Malic and flashed up a smile. Damn, he’s hot. And maybe he thought we’re hot as well, he just couldn’t help but stare.

“He’s expecting both of you.” The receptionist said, we thanked her though we thought that her English was quite bad.

So we went there, and stopped in front of his room. Nobody wants to ring the bell since we’re both nervous and we’re not pretty quite sure if we still want to do it, but when he opened up his door and gave us a warm smile, the anticipation began.

We had chitchat for a while, he said we we’re both gorgeous and his trip was somehow worthwhile. He’s not ugly, I’m telling you guys. He’s really sweet and accommodating.

So he guided us to the room, it was dim yet comfortable. She put her things on the drawer, I sat on the bed, and then he kissed me.

He said he likes to kiss, and so he kissed me hungrily, passionately, and then he faced her, and did the same thing on her. Sure thing, he knows how to divide his time, right? No favoritism. Not bad for a first-timer.

And so we were lying there, while he took off our clothes one by one. He was so nice, and we’re giggling with no reason at all that made him think that we’re nice girls. Well, I’m not saying that we’re bad, and he’s not complaining. I’d say we’re more like devils on bed. Haha

OK but then I’ll admit that somehow we became lame because he did all the work. He was not expecting us to have a girl-to-girl action (and we don’t want to do that either!) because he was busy going down on us that made us reach our climax. He doesn’t even want us to talk dirty. He just wanted to f#&k two pretty girls at the same time.

So he kissed me first, and then went down… down on me. He licked my p#&sy, my favorite, and then he sucked my toes, guys do that rarely. He kissed me on every part on my body. Hi bitted me. It felt good. And he did it on her as well. My, he was really good.

Three hours had ended, but he said we could stay there as long as we wanted to, we could take a rest and have a nice shower. So we put ourselves into the tub, talked about our favorite topic and relaxed. It was tiring, but mutually satisfying.

We had to leave him because we have to work later. He was sad, but was looking forward on our next meeting. Said he liked the both of us a lot, of course we’ll see him some other time. It was a long day with this wonderful guy but it was worth it.

Falling in Love

Okay so we all know falling in love is a wonderful thing. So how exactly do you fall out of love? How is it that everything that seemed so special, so wonderful, so perfect, turned into a freaking train wreck? In a split second life has gone from living in bliss to calling in damage control.

Where there certainly may not be a tried and true method, for sure keeping mementos be they pictures, clothing, phone numbers, emails, voice mails, all of the aforementioned relationship paraphernalia is a definite way to keep you held back in the past. All of these items piece by piece need to be dumped. Better yet, you need to burn what you can burn, but do it safely. I was informed by a friend when going through a breakup how necessary it is to have a funeral for a relationship. Yes a funeral. Her instructions were to gather the goods, put them in a container of sort, burn them and then bury the ashes. And no she is not a witch. In fact she said to say a prayer over this act and ask God to watch over the person and send the ex loved one to his or her highest possible good. After that take it a day at a time but move on.

Easier said than done. Been there done that. I think those are definitely good ways to start the subconscious to moving forward, but do I have to burn the shirt with his scent in it that I loved to sleep in so much? Not only yes, but burn it quickly. Burn it. Burn it! Burn it! Burn it! Is there an easy way to move on? If you know of one please share with the rest of us. The fact is even when you hate someone, if in your heart you loved him or her, you know it is still hard to let go. The love hate relationship is the hardest to get over but it can be done with time.

So what is the magic answer? Time. That's it, time and commitment to move on, to begin a new life, to do new things and meet new people. Make a commitment to yourself to not look back and go back to that same situation. Don't give this person anymore of yourself than you already have. You deserve better. More importantly realize that only time heals. Use this time to become the best person that you can be. The person can't be replaced, the love felt in that relationship can't be duplicated. Recognize your energies were specific to your relationship. So that being said, the chances of jumping into a new relationship that will honestly work are nil. That is not a fix to the problem. Unfortunately you have to suck it up and take the pain, go through it and create a new balance in your world. This way when you do meet the one worthy of you, you are rid of your trash and toxins.

The only way to heal is to go through the pain. That is the only way to get to the other side. It may hurt, sting, burn and make you have extremely evil thoughts and urges, but the fact is the only way to get to the other side is to go through it. After this process, you will find yourself with a new state of mind, heart and tolerance level. Sometimes an encounter with the pains of a relationship gone bad, can be a life changing experience. And let me just say I have a whole new respect for tears. Crying is one of the most freeing and cleansing experiences in this world. I know guys you are saying, "Men don't cry." Yes they do. But, I won't tell if you don't.

The strange thing about pains of the heart is that an individual seems to grow and see more clearly for the next encounter. Yes I know, at some point and time we all say, "there won't be another." Sure there will. Why deprive yourself as a human? This next time around however just like the beacon on a jet, your beacon will be lit, sensitive and ready as will be your radar. You will not compromise your well being and your heart because your radar will be attuned to your new thought process. Your senses will be more keen and astute and you will be less likely to make a decision that is not thought out. Of course before moving forward you will reflect back on the last encounter gone bad, and that's fine. Note I said reflect, not relive. The reliving thing is self torture, so throw that act the deuce and move on.

As much as we would like it to be, love, like relationships is not a simple thing. Just by the nature of the dynamics, it is complicated. Is there a way to prevent the hurt and pain of falling out of love? I don't know of one. If you know a way, bottle it, copyright it and market it. I guarantee you will be the next Bill Gates. My experience is all you can do is be a soldier, take your bullets and deal with it. But once that's done you come out kick ass strong and ready to deal with a whole new world, whole new game.

What I learned from my experience is that when you are torn down to your lowest point, I am talking being able to sit on the curb and swing your feet, this is when you are met with your greatest challenges. You find out exactly what you are made of. And I know for a fact that "God doesn't make junk." This is an opportunity to reach self-empowerment beyond all realms. But you have to pay attention, wake up, and move the trash out of your head, so that you are receptive to the new incoming thoughts and signals. People, we block our own good by allowing trash in our minds. We have to learn to control our thought process because what we think about is eventually what we bring into our lives. Now stroll down memory lane in your life and tell me if this is true.

Q-tip the R&B artist wrote a song a few years back where the bridge was something to the effect of "breathe and stop." I think that's the clue. Slow down, breathe and stop and simply be very careful who you give your heart to. Be certain, very certain that they are worthy of it and deserve it. Which means take the time to find out who they really are, and what they are really about, and their intentions toward you. The problem with falling in love is that we move fast, very fast because of the heat of the moment and emotions. Well guess what, this same heat and these same emotions come back to bite you in the butt when the relationship goes bad and you are falling out of love. Yes, the same feelings that felt so good falling in love are the same ones that turn on us when falling out of love. Life's tough sometimes.

So...just breathe and stop.

A diary written by a twenty-year old virgin..

This isn't my story. I just wrote it a few months ago. I popped my cherry when I was 17, and we did it in my place. I've never tried it with another girl (I'm looking forward to it though. Kinky eh? *lol) I'll try to write the story where I lost my virginity when I ain't busy hehehe.. *wink

---------------

Dear Diary,

Hello there. I'm Danielle. I've had this book for a while, and I never seemed to have anything interesting to write in it. Now I do.

Ever since I was eleven, I have been masturbating. Sticking a massager and vibrating toothbrushes into my tiny cunt. I've never been caught, but I have always left my door unlocked. I guess I just like the excitement.

Anyway, I had always desired sex. I wanted it so bad. I would even stare at my guy friends' eyes just to let them know how horny I am. And now, I finally got it. Sure, it took what? 8 or 9 years? I don't care, but it was worth it.

It was a Friday night. My best friend, Jay, and his girlfriend, Sarah, were going to come over to hang out. I remember that Jay was wearing a black band t-shirt with a studded belt and nice jeans. Sarah was wearing her usual slut-wear, a tight blouse with a deep neckline and shorts.

I think I'm a bit taller than her but her breast were huge! Everybody said they were fake. after what I found out, I was surprised! They're real, and they're hot!

"Hey Dane." Jay said to me. Sarah timidly said the same. She doesn't like me very much.

"Hey Jay, Sarah." I smiled, letting them in through the door. The night was going slow, thanks to Sarah making it quite awkward, not ever wanting to join in on the conversation. I had an idea to lighten it up. It was about eleven o'clock.

"What do you guys say about going night swimming?" I asked. I have a fantastic in ground swimming pool, and my parents weren't home to supervise us.

"Sounds good to me." Jay said. "Sarah?"

"Well, I didn't bring a suit.." She blushed.

"It's okay, you can borrow my bath-" I started to say, but I was cut off by Jay's hand going over my mouth and his voice.

"Why don't you just go naked? It will be dark. Dane will turn off the lights inside the pool, right Dane?" He said.

Confused, I nodded my head.

"Um. I don't know.." Sarah said.

Now I was beginning to grow eager over seeing her naked body in the moonlight. "How about we go naked too?" I said with a smile on my face, making the idea sound fun.

Finally, Jay and I were able to get Sarah to agree to swim naked. I pulled off my clothes, right in front of them, until I was naked. Then I wrapped a towel around my body. "C'mon. Let's go." I said as I watched them unravel their naked bodies.

Outside, though there were no lights on, you could still see very clearly. I could see Sarah's breast. Her nipples were so hard. Jay's penis was slightly aroused and I noticed my nipples were hard also.

I jumped into the pool. "Woo! It's freakin' cold!" I announced. The others joined me.

We were laughing as I took a beach ball in the pool and laid on top of it. Jay abruptly pulled it from under me. "Hey!" I yelled, feeling a slight tap on my breast as he swam away. We were laughing, chasing each other to get the ball. Sarah joined in also. I felt a hand rub my p#&sy, and I gasped.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I was shocked when I heard that this voice came from Sarah. I'm not sure if she did that on purpose but I got confused.

"It's okay. It felt good." I said. And we started giggling. Jay was wondering what the hell we were talking about.

"I've been thinking about doing that since I saw you." Sarah laughed. Jay kept his confused expression on.

I started brushing my lips against hers. "What the??" Jake said, but his voice sounded giddy as Sarah and I began making out in front of him.

Sarah used her right hand to rub my clit and I did likewise to her. We slowly eased ourselves from the pool steps and onto the cold, hard concrete. She laid me down and began licking my clit until I was wet, not with pool water, but with my own juices. It really felt good. She stuck three fingers into me, causing me to suppress my pain. Sarah laughed. "You're a virgin?" And I blushed.

Jay came out of the pool, looking rather pleased. He sat over my face, his erect dick looking cloying. "Suck me." He said as he some how stuck his d#&k in my mouth. I sucked him as I was told. I don't know of I did it right, but he was moaning anyway. Sarah was still licking me.

"I think I'm going to come!" I announced after a while.

"Me too!" Jay said.

"F#&k her!" Sarah left my p#&sy and she pushed me so I could lie next to Jay and to let him have it. Sarah sat down on my face as she placed a finger in her ass. I lifted my hand up and started to finger her with three of my fingers and I began to lick her p#&sy. Her juices were dripping in to my mouth and I licked and swallowed it. It tasted good.

Jay grunted as he pushed himself into me. I had to stop licking Sarah, but my fingers were still in her. I screamed as Jake popped my cherry. I couldn't believe I was deflowered. It was freakin' awful.

I started moaning and began shouting as Jay f#&ked me slowly. It hurt at first, but since he was going so slow, I started to get pleasure. He was caressing my left breast while kissing Sarah. And he yelled, "I can't hold it much longer!"

"Me either!" I screamed. "f#&k me harder, Jay! God, you're so f#&king good!"

He came inside of me, even without a rubber. I came with him, our juices colliding. Jake removed his dick with leftover come on it and brushed it to Sarah's face. She did it gladly and she began to clean up the rest with her tongue in my p#&sy again.

Best night.. so far.

Unfaithful

She thought this was going to be one of those memorable nights because she’s going to see him again.

She was so excited. She took extra care with her make-up, had her hair and nails done - she wanted to stand out for him.

So she was so disappointed when he called up to say he have to cancel their date.

“Hey. I’m so sorry about tonight, but I have to be somewhere else later.”

She felt the world crashing down around her. “But why? I mean, did something happen?”

“ Um, no. I’m gonna have company later.”|

Her heart just stopped. She felt herself running out of breath, as if invisible hands had started to choke her delicate neck for all its worth, slowly, deliberately.

“Who?” She fought to keep her voice steady.

“It doesn’t matter. You don’t know who she is anyway. Have to go now. Go hang out with your friends and have a blast.” Then he hung up.

She felt all the energy drain out of her shaken body, and she sat on her bed instinctively before her knees give way and buckled underneath her.

She was crushed. She was furious. She wanted to understand but she couldn’t. She wanted to be calm but she found it impossible to subdue the slow breaking of her heart that is threatening to tear her in pieces.

So who the hell is she? Her blood turned into ice as she started to think about what they are going to do tonight, where he will take her, and most importantly, where he will go home after the night is over.

She didn’t want to think about the mysterious girl so much. She’s probably just one of his low-life bitches. Yes, that must be it. Some cheap slut he met from God knows where, somebody he will just screw and forget about the next day.

But then a slow dread started to creep inside her. With painful realization, it dawned on her. What about me? Does he consider me as one of those low-life bitches too?”
She wanted to cry but her tears won’t come out.

She is gradually dying inside but the stupid thing is, she knows that she cannot bear to be without him. She can’t. She just can’t.

He may not be the best-looking guy in the universe but he has the brains and the humor that made her fall over and over again. He has the kind of eloquence that reduces her to puddles whenever he speaks, his fascinating words drawling out of his delicious mouth in a voice which never fails to melt her heart and thrill her insides. His voice, in a timbre so rich, so sensual, that she never wanted him to stop speaking.

He knew she was into him and it seemed like he took advantage of it because he knew that she liked him from the very start. She wore her heart on her sleeve every single time they are together, and he, ever the smart and condescending bastard, is very much aware of how he affects her down to the very core of her confused soul.

He is dangerous. He will k*ll her with his smile, with his kisses. He will slay her with his touch, those hands that touched her and made her taste a different kind of heaven.

He is a murderer.

She felt so stupid for letting herself fall for his kind of guy. It was so unfair but what else she could do? She was hopelessly in love and she was helpless because deep into the recesses of her heart she knew he’ll never feel the same. The pain was unbearable. So painful that she could feel nothing anymore.

Almost.

She is numb because she was blinded by his charms. And it made her stupid, and stupid is the last thing in the world she wanted to be.

Yet she still loves him.

It was hopeless. Totally, heartbreakingly hopeless.

The Day an Angel Died..

Repost ulit! Hehehe, I'm gonna delete my old blog after this so I'm saving the best for last.. *lol


----------------------------------


The sky was dark and cloudy; heaven went along with her because it was one of her darkest days. Her dreams were shattered. Her heart was broken into pieces. It was the day she died… again.

He was smart, funny, and sensible. He got these eyes that can make her fall all over and over again. He may be more like her father, but he’s simply wonderful in her eyes. He’s beautiful and he said he likes her.

She was anxious to see him that day but as she walked through the corridor; She didn’t see him waiting in front of his door. Maybe he wasn’t as excited as these past few meetings where she went there along with her friend. But he didn’t keep her waiting, he opened the door and he saw that smile again, the smile that knocked her off her feet. She smiled at him, as she grinned to herself "God, I swear I'm gonna sex this guy once more."

He said he wanted to talk to her, that's why he asked her to come over. He seemed tensed but he tried to act normal. She noticed it and asked him why he acted so strange.

And then, he broke the silence, “I’m in love with your friend…”

And she was surprised.

He tried to explain but she didn't want to hear everything he wanted to say. She was speechless, but her angst didn't subside.

She felt her knees shaking. She was furious, but she didn't say a word. "He's just kidding, right? I wasn’t even able to tell him how I feel and now, he will never know how much I love him. He’s gone; he slipped out of my hands. And I’ll never be able to see him again."

She tried to look at him. He could read his lips but she couldn't hear him, these words kept running through her head:

“He doesn’t want me…”

She felt like she was dumped. She felt so neglected. And now she... couldn't think of anything.

Until her friend crossed her mind.

She told her friend what happened and she said she understands. But she couldn’t seem to feel it that way. She wasn't even sure if her friend gives a damn shit about it anyway.

She thought she considerate but somehow insensitive. That she was taking everything dear to her, and now she lost everything --- even the guy she always dreamed of.

She remembered how different they were but these differences made them closer. And as she recalled how people tried to make them compete against each other, she felt like she always ended up as their second option, that she's only the second best. And then she asked herself, "Am I really a loser?"

Tears started falling down to her cheeks.

She tried to remember how special she was, but then she asked herself again, "Am I the only one thinking of it about myself?"

And then she cried again.

She cried a river, until she finally said goodbye. He wanted to stop her, but he didn't have the balls to do so. He was too scared to ask her why she was crying, he wasn't that sensitive. He let her go, with a promise that he will always be around.

She smiled and walked away.

She saw a mirror and looked back to her image. She saw a girl with captivating eyes that could tame even the most rabid shrew, She smiled, and she could see her smiling back at her, but she knew that smile --- it was dull, it wasn’t real. She could see her dying, and she’s hurting for her soul was ragged.

It was mourning Thursday, it was dim… so sad… so painful… for it was the day she… an Angel died.

A point of view...

Another repost: This is an email from someone who will always be special to me. --- he's not only a friend, but a mentor as well. He's one of my avid readers so he decided to write his own 'Point of view' haha.. It's a food for soul and it's all for you. *wink

-----------------------------

Here was my point of view.

I was preparing to go to Manila in October, I was thinking of what my social life would be like. I saw their on-line ad. It said they did threesomes. I could do that, I thought to myself. I send them a mail, they replied back with pictures and a contact number. Pretty Girls.


I arrive in Manila. I hold off contacting. My experience with girls like this has always been unsatisfying. It has always been about the sex for them. Get me hard, get me off, get gone. It has never been about that for me.

I call, in time they arrive, I have not been able to sleep because I have been anxious. I work overnight, sleep during the day. Knowing they are coming over I am nervous. I am in my 40s. streaks of gray, a flat tummy is 20 years in the past. Are they going to take one look at me and turn around?

The front desk calls. They are on their way. I have urge to brush my teeth again for the 15th time in the last 4 hours.

Bell rings, I open the door - there are 2 angels standing there. Few men ever see heaven before they die. I have now. I can't believe my luck. I am already half in love and its only been 15 seconds.

They come in and sit. They....are....so diffirent. One is tall, rounded, sly, trouble. One is short, petite, reserved, a cypher. Fire and Water.

We go into the bed room, I tell them I like to kiss. We start. I move from one to the other, one like's to move her tongue from side to side. One likes having her ear blown in. I taste the soap and perfume on their flesh. I undress them, slowly, it's Christmas. I want it to last. I want to remember. The day I die, I want my last thought to be about this.

Their clothes are off. Amazing.

They let me take charge. It is clear they are friends but not lovers. That's cool. I don't want to really share either one of them anyway. I take turns. I listen to their bodies. One like to have her clit tongued in circles. One likes having her clit sucked.

One likes having 3 fingers going straight in. One likes 2 fingers curled inside. On likes having her ass fingered. One does not.

I tell them they don't need to say anything. I may be a client but it's about them not me. Their bodies will tell me what to do.

3.....hours.....passed.

I tell that they can stay as long as they like. Take a long bath. It's good to have there.

"Stay as long as you like"

I want to tell them "Stay Forever" But I am a coward, a middle aged man with young girls is a foolish thing. I have my dignity.

In my dreams I can still hear myself say "Stay Forever".

Some things change everything.

It started with a kiss..

Another repost, for the guy I fell in and fell out of love with... he wasn't able to read this. But one of the greatest sex (so far.. *wink) in my years of existence.

I was curious if he really lives up to his user name. I made a few research about him and he turned out to be a nice person, and he never had issues with other members as well. So there's no way to find out if he's really a specialist, I thought to myself. Oh well, maybe I can figure it out myself .

During the last 3 events, I've noticed that he's been staring at me. I wasn't sure if those were for me though, but there's something in his eyes that caught me.

And the last time we had an event, he finally swept me off my feet.

We were in the same table with other acquaintances when there was a dare for a girlfriend and a BI to kiss one another. He was standing next to me that time.

After that kiss, the dare was passed onto us and we were both stunned. Although I was ready for that, I got nervous because I never thought it would be so soon.

He knelt down and asked me coolly, "Is it okay if I kiss you?"

I cleared my throat, "Yeah, it's okay"

"Are you sure,” he seemed worried.

"Yeah," I smiled, "No malice."

And we kissed.

Time has stopped, everyone had gotten away. I was wasted with all the smokes I had but he got me high, got me so addicted to those lips. So sensual... so sweet... so tempting.

Did he just cast a spell on me?

I had to stop though I never want to, he was taking my breath, literally. He was the best kisser ever. I was thrilled, I was... half in love when I let go. I got carried away.

I'm not the type of slut who would ask for a guy's number. I even forgot to ask the names of those whom I had sex with before. But when they called it a night, I didn't know where'd I pull the guts to ask for his number. Is it because of all the liquors I had? I couldn't recall, I was still engrossed with what happened until we finally kissed the evening goodbye.

I had sleepless nights after the said event. Darn, I must have been into drugs, I thought. Did he put some cocaine over those lips? I wanna feel them against mine once more, he really got me hooked in this time.

We exchanged text messages since. I found out that he's a guy with a great sense of humor. A good person, indeed. As the exchanging of messages over the phone continued, I've learned his thoughts about reckless drivers, his favorite horror flicks, as well as how he wanted to be pampered. I told him once that I'd like to be of help if he needed one. We chatted about everything under the sun until we reached the topic about sex. He asked me if it was a good way to release stress which I had agreed with. I had the feeling that he wanted it, and I'm somehow willing to satisfy his urge. Until we finally decide to meet up.

I had a dinner with a friend from Melbourne who would always drag me wherever she goes. While eating, I heard the chimes from my phone, it was him.

"Have you had dinner, beautiful?"

I replied, "Still eating. How was your day, gorgeous?"

"Long and tiring." I could feel his exhaustion but still, I wanted to tease him,

"I thought you're gonna pamper me?"

"Yeah, where are you now?"

"In a hotel. where you at?"

"On my way to you."

"Alright, I'll just finish dinner."

I couldn't help but hope that my friend would call it a night although I was pretty sure she would drag me again somewhere. But not tonight, I said to myself. I'm gonna get some pampering and I wouldn't want to miss it!

I was surprised when she told me that she wanted to stay at home. But I was more anxious with my next date. It seemed as if I've never done this before. I've been imagining this for some time and... words weren't enough to describe how excited I was. I missed the feeling of making out with someone I like.

I told him to meet me in a bar so we could have some drinks. While waiting for him, I suddenly got tensed and sent messages to all of my friends. And when he arrived, I was speechless.

"You look wonderful tonight."

He started making a conversation. I was able to regain myself and it went along just fine until he asked me,

"So how do you want to be pampered?"

Cat finally got my tongue. I practically forgot how I teased him over the phone. I felt so helpless, I couldn't utter a word.

My lips remained sealed as he drove towards a more private place, and he probably noticed how pale my face turned into so he would always ask me if I'm alright. I knew he wanted to make me feel comfortable, but my knees were shaking. Damn it, why I am I so nervous anyway? There was silence until we reached our destination.

I sat next to him and I felt the cold sweat on my face, I couldn't meet his eyes as he stared at me in amusement.

"Why are you staring at me like that," I murmured.

"Nothing, I just can't figure out why you're so nervous."

"Honestly, I don't know."

"So if you're nervous now, and I'm nervous as well, tell me what would happen," he paused for awhile and then he pulled me in the bed. And then he kissed me.

He kissed me, as if I've never been kissed all my life, the same thing I felt the first time those luscious lips brushed into mine. And I gave myself freely, as his hand slowly ran into every inch of me, exploring my body, touching my very soul.

Our lips never parted as he slowly undressed me, while I unbuckled his belt. I began unzipping his pants when suddenly he chuckled, "Your skirt is so tricky!" Then, as we laughed between kisses, his hand went down between my thighs. And when his lips went down to my chests, I tried to hold on between my moans. I was losing myself.

He slowly went down... down where I can figure out if he's really a specialist. and when I closed my eyes, there was heaven.

I screamed my pleasure, as I begged him not to stop. He took me in until I finally reached my climax. He smiled as locked his lips into mine once again. God, he was driving me insane.

He started making out with me slowly as I clung myself to him. He made love to me passionately, giving me butterfly kisses, telling me not to let go. And when we finally came, these words filled the room,

"I couldn't resist you..."

He wrapped his arms around me as he lied in my chest. I watched him sleep like a baby, and as I looked upon his face, I couldn't help but smile for the guy that filled my thoughts during those sleepless nights was there, and I had him right by my side.

He's more like a river to me - calm, mysterious, deep, and dangerous. I never liked him before but now I can't help but crave his touch. I miss his lips... those lips got me twisted.

And it all started with a kiss.

If I was your man..

I'm gonna repost this for you guys, I hope you like it *wink

I will take my hands and spread your legs, pushing your dress up. My head lowered to your cunt, my fingers spreading you wide, my tongue plunging deeply into you. You gasped with pleasure as I continued. I slowly began to undo the buttons on your dress, my hands exploring. I undid your bra, kissing your breasts, licking the nipples. You moaned as they hardened, pressing yourself against my mouth. I lifted you from the couch,letting your dress fall to the floor. please respect others and some people will respect you

"Are you ready for the experience of a lifetime?" I whispered. My head bent to your breasts, sucking a nipple in, biting it slightly.

You barely managed to answer me, "Yes, oh God, yes!"

I led you to the wall turning you around, bending you over the wall. Your breasts brushed the rough surface, rubbing your hard nipples. I spread your legs, fingers robing, plunging into your wetness. You screamed in pleasure. You were caught in the throes of another orgasm, that nothing could have stopped. I pressed close behind you, my cock sliding into your cunt. I pressed in to the hilt, pushing you hard against the wall. I began f#&king you, teasing, pulling my cock out of you before driving back in hard.

You began to beg me, "Harder, please f#&k me harder".

My pace increased, and your pleasure mounted. My hands roamed your body, at times pulling you hard against me as I pressed into you. Your hips moved with less control now. Faster and shorter movements. Constantly changing position, chasing the pleasure from one spot to another. I tugged gently on your breasts, quietly asking you to bend down. I held your breasts together and licked your nipples as you rubbed the length of my cock along your clit.

Suddenly you couldn't hold back any longer. "I'm coming, baby" you said as you bit your lip. The lightning flashed and the thunder rolled, both outside the windows and inside of you as your orgasm raced through your entire body.

Until you screamed your climax "Oh.. my.. God!" The final spasms took all of your energy with them. I felt your body go limp and slowly lay atop me, your head on my chest. We laid together like that for a long time catching our breath. You finally lifted your face and kissed me softly.

That is if I was your man... Am I bad or am I bad? *wink

Welcome to my haven...

Since I cannot replace my old, sickening Blog URL, I decided to create this --- my new fortress with my old steamy stories for you to ponder on and more sexcapades (f%#k!I mean escapades! lol) for your very eyes only...

By the way, let me introduce myself:


Either you love me or you hate me attitude. I'm a direct person, I state what I have in mind without hesitation. I may appear to be brutally honest, but I expect likewise. I love simple things in life, and I'm extremely thankful for what's upon and what I'm given. I can be your best friend or your worst adversary. To my friends and family I'm someone they can count on. I don't treat everyone equally, nor do I give everybody the same level of respect. They would have to earn them.

If God made our trail so lucid, then we wouldn't have room to grow, no place for realization and no point of living life. Obstacles are upon to enlighten our thoughts, and to be kept as a future reference. I can be a listener and a good adviser you choose. I'm patient, but don't push me to the limit, understanding but don't push my buttons. I stand by my words as well as I stand by my ground, though I'm a little indecisive; a bit hesitant because I try to makes things right. But I know when I'm wrong and I admit it.

This is Me...


I'm a random, sarcastic and cocky person, but I can be serious when I need to be. I may be slight alcoholic, party like there's no tomorrow, and f#&k my brains out but I rarely demand, easily distracted, lenient, stubborn, unruly and etc. (words can never say enough about an individual, so never judge hastily). Others may find me a bit complicated, but yet Im very simple.

"What they see and say about me does not define who I am in reality. What's perceived is a mere surface, what's said is a mere opinion; For what's inevitable is hidden within the depths of my soul. Only I can tell my own authenticity"

"I write what my mind can't reveal... and my words shall spill them.."